The logistics of “The Romance Run”
I’m sure you’ve seen a Romance Run before. You’re watching a rom-com and the main characters are, of course, in a fight, on a break, things are looking bad for their relationship. Then, one (or both) of them decide that they actually really, REALLY, REALLLLLYYYYY love the other one, and they take off in a sprint. Maybe they are running to the airport to stop their love from getting on a plane. Maybe they are running to stop a wedding or crash a fancy event. Wherever they are going, the Romance Run is fun and also so impractical for most of us regular humans! I love to watch it but I would hate to do it.
But since I am who I am, here is a deep dive into the logistics of the Romance Run and whether I could do it:
What level of love is worthy of the Romance Run?
I assume it’s the “I feel insane when I think about how much I love you” kinda of love. I can’t justify randomly running for most people or situations, including “did I leave my oven on?” type situations. (If my house burns down, I got insurance.) (jk, I live in an apartment and while I have insurance, if my house burns that means my neighbors will too, and I will feel sooooooooooo bad if that’s my fault)
How far is too far to run for a Romance Run?
Are these people actually running for miles through New York streets? COULDN’T BE ME. I think I could maybe do a mile if I was, like, really in love. I might could do one (1) New York City block. Any further, I’m just calling you. BOYYYYYY, PLEASE do not make me RUN to prove my love to you. If we’ve been in a whole rom-com, you’ll know that I would rather die than run anywhere. My rom-com Romance Run will not be me suddenly pushing through the pain of running to run to you. Nope, not me.
Do I have to run the whole time?
Or like, can I just jog or walk at some points? I’m outta shape, babe. You get what you get.
What if I’m not wearing the right shoes to run?
Should I just stay stocked with running shoes on me at all times? If I lived in a more walkable city, I probably would. But what if I don’t have them on me? Do I go home and get some? Do I buy some? Do I just commandeer someone’s shoes like cops do with vehicles in movies? That’s both a very funny and also super gross option.
What if I show up super out of breath?
Is that, like, fine? That is what will happen if I run to you, just a forewarning.
HOW DO I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?
Are you still sharing your location with me, babe? I bet we’re in a fight if I have to prove my love by RUNNING TO YOU. We’re probably not sharing locations right now. In the movies, the main characters always seem to know where their love is (a gala, the airport, with their mom, whatever). Even if we discuss your plans beforehand, babe, I am not going to remember. If it’s not in my Google calendar, it doesn’t exist. So honey, if you want me to 1) realize I love you so desperately that I have to be with you right then and 2) run to you, you better schedule that in my calendar.
What are the best Romance Runs in cinema? I wanna know. I love when Harry Met Sally 👀
